If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
