Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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