Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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