every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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