Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
