You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
