There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
