please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
