is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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