ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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