just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
if i died would you start the facebook group?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
