Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
It's no shave November. This is our time.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
