I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
