Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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