finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Dicks are not precious.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
