I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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