we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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