What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
