My friends, they love my intelligence
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
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