i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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