Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
