She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
