That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
