I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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