i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
