I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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