Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
