I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
