Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
