weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
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