check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
