Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
