And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
