I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
