So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
