dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
