Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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