This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
