hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
