me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
