it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
