The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize
