idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Randomize
