Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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