i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
