I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
