Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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