Did you just see the Batmobile???
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
