Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
