She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
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