I look better un-naked...
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
