I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I am one with the molecules
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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